I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize