: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
