gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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