I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
