"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
