don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
