Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
