Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
