btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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