And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
