Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
PANTIES FOUND
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
