i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
