I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
