Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
