they need to just BURY HIM!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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