your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this will be a night to untag.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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