I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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