ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
