I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
