I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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