Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize