so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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