ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
