Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.