Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  come over

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  yeah sure

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10

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  (214): come over (1-214): yeah sure (1-214): wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/qceh
  Replies (48) Good night (8040) Bad night (971)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (162) Good night (2402) Bad night (36308)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.

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  (717): Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/jiq7
  Replies (15) Good night (7443) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (4960) Bad night (1928)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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  (704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux
  Replies (14) Good night (5436) Bad night (1119)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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  (617): i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar. http://tfl.nu/1t99
  Replies (7) Good night (2917) Bad night (972)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."

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  (478): All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk." http://tfl.nu/3sim
  Replies (10) Good night (3351) Bad night (1166)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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  (913): Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/f12g
  Replies (1) Good night (2188) Bad night (718)
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  (562): View more from California

  I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.

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  (562): I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up. http://tfl.nu/b3gr
  Replies (5) Good night (2642) Bad night (817)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity

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  (240): Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity http://tfl.nu/y6wz
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?

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  (609): Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex? http://tfl.nu/f6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (478)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?

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  (330): What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old? http://tfl.nu/jxml
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat

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  (630): You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat http://tfl.nu/qknk
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."

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  (561): He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating." http://tfl.nu/nn4t
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (332)

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