Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon