Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome