The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
