Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
