Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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