so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
