That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
