i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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