i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
