There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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