I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
