I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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