I didn't shave. On purpose
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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