I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
