At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
