a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
