Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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