She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
