allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
