he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
