Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
