How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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