Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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