i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
