Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
