On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize