Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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