Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
