Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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