okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
