ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
