Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
