I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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