i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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