I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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