Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
