going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
