found the other keg... it's in the tree
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
