In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i don't like sucking hair
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
