so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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