being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
