just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The beer is more important than you right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
