but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My cat gives me a boner
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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