I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
