Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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