i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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