Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
