Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
