i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
